[Her eyes flicker up to the ceiling for a moment, trying to pick her words carefully to describe her past and some of her secrets. It's such a weird mess but she hopes he will be open to listening to her secrets as much as she is about his.]
Remember how I told you I was on the run from the government? That's because technically for a while I was part of a government created team, it was all kids my age whose fathers had been experimented on in like the eighties. Some really fucked up stuff was done to them and they wanted to see if the next generation was better, or could do better so we were all rounded up and tested on. That's how I met my friends, we were all in the same unit and after we saw how fucked up everything was we all made a run for it.
We had help from a guy who was part of those original experiments, Mr.Lynch, he helped us get out and put us up in a big house in La Jolla where for a while we sort of tried to forget what had happened. But soon we decided to use our training to help people, Mr.Lynch would send us out on missions to save other kids like us or people who were stealing government weapons to use on regular people. That kind of shit.
[She licks her lips, her mouth suddenly feeling very dry.]
So...it's like, we were helping people but we never had to ask who the bad guy was and who wasn't. We were just told who to fight and who to save. In a weird way it was almost kind of mindless, and you'd feel so far removed from the actual morals of it. It's one of the reasons we all went our separate ways eventually, we got tired of being good little soldiers who didn't think for themselves.
[She looks down and isn't surprised to see that she's nervously wringing her hands together and forces herself to stop.]
When...when I saw first hand the outcome of what you did to those guys it shook me up, because that was never part of what we saw. It felt so close all of a sudden and it scared me to think about my own morals.
[She pauses for a long time, waiting for his reaction.]
So turns out you weren't the only one who was lying. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you but it's such a bizarre thing to even say out loud and I didn't want to scare you away with all this weirdness and I know that...wait....
[She had been babbling out an apology but she stops and looks up at him, looks into his eyes.]
no subject
Remember how I told you I was on the run from the government? That's because technically for a while I was part of a government created team, it was all kids my age whose fathers had been experimented on in like the eighties. Some really fucked up stuff was done to them and they wanted to see if the next generation was better, or could do better so we were all rounded up and tested on. That's how I met my friends, we were all in the same unit and after we saw how fucked up everything was we all made a run for it.
We had help from a guy who was part of those original experiments, Mr.Lynch, he helped us get out and put us up in a big house in La Jolla where for a while we sort of tried to forget what had happened. But soon we decided to use our training to help people, Mr.Lynch would send us out on missions to save other kids like us or people who were stealing government weapons to use on regular people. That kind of shit.
[She licks her lips, her mouth suddenly feeling very dry.]
So...it's like, we were helping people but we never had to ask who the bad guy was and who wasn't. We were just told who to fight and who to save. In a weird way it was almost kind of mindless, and you'd feel so far removed from the actual morals of it. It's one of the reasons we all went our separate ways eventually, we got tired of being good little soldiers who didn't think for themselves.
[She looks down and isn't surprised to see that she's nervously wringing her hands together and forces herself to stop.]
When...when I saw first hand the outcome of what you did to those guys it shook me up, because that was never part of what we saw. It felt so close all of a sudden and it scared me to think about my own morals.
[She pauses for a long time, waiting for his reaction.]
So turns out you weren't the only one who was lying. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you but it's such a bizarre thing to even say out loud and I didn't want to scare you away with all this weirdness and I know that...wait....
[She had been babbling out an apology but she stops and looks up at him, looks into his eyes.]
Did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?