Rox, you do understand that I'm not just giving you lip service when I tell you that I want to make love to you right?

[ He has to ask because he feels like maybe somewhere along the line, things got lost in translation and maybe she just doesn't get why this is so important to him. ]

I wasn't asking you to wait because I'm traumatized to have intercourse. Yes, I do have some touching issues, because of a certain individual and the way she always forced her will upon me. But the main reason, I've been wanting to wait is because I'm struggling with puberty in this body right now. I know when I'm not hindered by hormones that I can not only last more than a minute during hand jobs and blow jobs, but I can go when it comes to actual sex. I just wanted you to experience me at my absolute best for our first time. So the idea of using a replica of my cock on you feels like it defeats the purpose of us waiting for me to be at my peak best. If my cock can just be reduced to a silicone toy than it makes me feels like there is no point in wanting that moment to be special at all.

[ He explains doing his best not to get overly emotional again, but of course he wasn't lying when he said he was feeling hurt still. ]