RP with Jason Todd

[gravity_grrl]

[A few days after the depressing text messaging Roxy had with Jason she gets a call from one of the girls she knows from work who tells her that they've been offered to dance for a private after party at the club.

"It's good money Rox, these guys are big tippers to all the girls. Not just the ones up on stage." She tells her, "C'mon it might be fun."

Fun. Sure.
It's something she could use right now, having spent the last two days in a depressive slump over the situation with Jason, so after some consideration she agrees. She loves dancing so it might help break her out of her mood and she definitely could use the cash seeing how she just had to use a good chunk of her savings to buy a new cellphone, but most of all she says yes because there's a part of her that wants to look sexy as fuck and have guys check her out just to spite Jason. He won't be there, seeing how he's not 21, but that doesn't matter. It's the vibe, that badass bitch vibe that she needs right now.
Because otherwise she's just going to sink deeper into heartbreak.

And so, on Saturday night Roxy selects an outfit from her costume closet that she knows is a "fan favorite", throws it and some heels into a bag and heads down to 'The Penthouse' strip club located in downtown Gotham.]

Comments

[theotherobin]

[Jason looks up from his plate of food, freezing when he sees Roxy waking in. His gaze darts from Alfred, back to Roxy and he just stares at her, mouth hanging open a little, astonished that she really is just standing here in the kitchen. Alfred is a sneaky motherfucker, Jesus Christ. What an ambush.

Except, he's also incredibly relieved to see her.]

Where are your manners, Master Jason? Miss Spaulding came all this way to see you. The least you could do is say hello.

Uh... hi.

[he's not feeling super smooth right now, sitting here with his disheveled bed head and sleepiness still in his eyes.]

Alright then. Miss Spaulding, please make yourself at home and sit down for brunch. I will leave you two alone. Holler politely if you need me.

[Alfred squeezes Jason's shoulder and heads off, leaving them alone in the kitchen. Jason just blinks, then seemingly snaps out if his surprised stupor as he slides off his stool, pulling one out next to him for her at the counter.]

Yeah, um. Come sit. Sorry, I pretty much just woke up.

[gravity_grrl]

[Roxy smiles gratefully at Alfred as he leaves and he tips her a small wink. Jason seems to mostly snap out of his stunned silence and offers her a seat next to him at the counter. She shrugs off her jacket, laying it on the counter next to her and sits down.]

I can tell, your hair is all extra poofy.

[She smiles and reaches over to take the cup of coffee Alfred had poured.]

[theotherobin]

[ Jason self consciously and unsuccessfully tries to pat his hair down a little, and now he kinda wishes he could have put something on these bruises to cover them up as well, but the fact that she's here after last night... he has a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

There are several things he knows he should ask her, starting with: What are you doing here? What happened to your neck? Why are you here, I thought you'd hate me by now? Questions he should ask to seem less suspicious. But it's hard to lie to her face like that when he looked into her eyes as Robin last night. ]

How are you?

[ Is what he settles on, because it seems neutral enough. This could go either way, he still tells himself. ]

[gravity_grrl]

[Her smile grows as he tries to unsuccessfully tame his hair down, it's a feeble attempt because it's just as wild as he is. She can feel his confusion about why she is here but at the same time she thinks she sees a bit of secret happiness in his eyes.]

I'm okay. Been a rough couple of days but it's getting better. You?

[theotherobin]

[ He's mostly annoyed at Alfred going behind his back to ambush him with Roxy, because it would have been better for them all around if she had stayed away- especially after last night.

But at the same time he can't help but be happy to see her. She seemed out of it last night and he's glad she stuck around to wait for the ambulances. He knows he sure wouldn't have.

Rough couple of days. Understatement of the fucking century.

Jason isn't usually one to struggle with what comes flying out of his mouth, but right now he's struggling. He knows everything he should say, but it all sounds fucking pathetic in his head. He snags his cup of coffee and drinks a few long sips down. Stalling. ]

I'm fine. Busy, like I said.

[ Struggling quickly turns to agitation and frustration, and fuck, he hates small talk and games. He'll never be as good as Bruce is at being patient. ]

Why're you here, Roxy?

[gravity_grrl]

[She is no longer hurt by the long stretches of silence between them, she knows him and she knows that this way of being curt and short with her are a defense. He's probably a mess of confused questions so she just waits until he finally asks a real question.]

I'm here because we need to talk.

[She looks at him over the rim of her coffee cup. Knowing how much dread those four little words can have on a person.]

Do you want to finish breakfast before we do this or....?

[theotherobin]

[ There it is.

We need to talk.

Jason lets out a fuck under his breath, looking away from her as he drags his fingers through his hair, which doesn't help to tame any of it at all.

She knows. She knows, and Bruce is going to kill him. Jesus christ, he's so damn stupid.]

Just come out with it already. The fucking suspense is gonna kill me.

[gravity_grrl]

[She takes a sip of her coffee, steeling herself for the emotional outburst she suspects that will happen once she says all this out loud.]

Okay.
I know. I know that you were at the club last night, I know that it was you who saved me. And that it was you who beat up those guys who shot me last week.

[She puts down her coffee cup and turns her eyes to his.]

I also know that you miss me.

[theotherobin]

[ The trickle of dread he was feeling earlier is like a flood to his system now, and his fingers feel cold and clammy around his hot coffee mug. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. He knew it was coming, but still. Fuck.

What would Bruce do? He would deny it. He would play it cool, laugh it off, make the other person sound like they might be crazy for even suggesting it. Bruce would lie and protect himself and the life he built around everything he does, which includes Jason now.

But as much as Jason's like Bruce in a lot of ways, he's also not, because he wears his emotions on his sleeve, and he's fucking stupid. Bruce never would have let this happen. ]

What? No fucking way, Rox.

[ He tries anyway, and nearly chokes on the words, because they sound so damn unsteady coming out of his mouth. But he has to at least try, because if she knows he's Robin then she has to figure that Bruce is Batman, and he can't be the one to unravel it all like this. ]

You're fucking crazy.

[ He finishes off with, because he's panicking now, and isn't hurting people the best way to get them to go away? ]

[gravity_grrl]

[She feels bad for making him feel so awful and panicked, she can see it in his eyes. They're like the eyes of a rabbit that has suddenly found itself in a trap and is thinking of chewing off a limb to escape. He's going to fight tooth and nail about this but it's what she was expecting so she feels a sort of calmness settle over her.]

No I'm not. I know it was you because I know you.

[She turns towards him, she badly wants to touch him but she knows that will probably be too much. It will set him off and give him a chance to explode, so she just sits there, hoping he will find the strength to meet her eyes.]

I know your body, your eyes, your smile.
Jason....I know it was you because no one else but you makes me feel like that when they kiss me.

[theotherobin]

[ He's trapped, and there's nowhere to escape to. Nowhere to run. She knows him, and he knows that she does. There's not even a hint of doubt in her eyes. Nothing he says is going to change her mind, he can already see that. There's no way to take any of this back. ]

Fuck!

[ He slides off the stool and moves away, turns away, clasping his fingers together at the back of his head, drawing his elbows around his face. At the rest of her words he stops and turns back towards her, parting his elbows a bit so he can look at her. After a moment, he lets his hands slowly drag through his hair and down his face, then drop at his sides, defeated. ]

Please don't tell anyone.

[gravity_grrl]

[Her resolve is only so strong and when he looks at her in defeat she gets down off her stool and goes over to him, wrapping her arms around him.]

I won't. Jason, of course I won't.

[She hugs him, trying to comfort him as she knows he's probably feeling everything all at once.]

It's okay, I'm not going to tell anyone. Not about you and not about Bruce. I swear.

[theotherobin]

[ He's never felt this panicked while being stuck in one place before. He wants to run but he can't. He wants to push her away but he doesn't.

He feels like he might puke, like he can't get enough air into his lungs, and his heart is beating so fast- but when her arms go around him he can at least breathe again, and he practically crumbles against her, arms sliding tight around back, head dropping down into the crook of her neck.

It's Roxy. She won't tell anyone, but he's so fucking terrified. He doesn't want anything to happen to Bruce if someone else were to find out. He doesn't want anything to happen to Roxy if someone finds out that she knows. He doesn't want Bruce to take this away from him because he fucked up. ]

Are you pissed at me?

[gravity_grrl]

[She can feel his whole body, which is probably already tired from the fight last night and now with all this worry probably feels like it's approaching exhaustion, sag against her. She brings her hands up, one to rub his back and the other to hold the base of his skull.]

No sweetheart. Not at all.

[Her voice is soft and kind.]

I understand why it has to be a secret, you're talking to a girl who was on the run from the government remember? It's okay.

[theotherobin]

[ He nods against her neck, hugging her tighter. He does remember that she's on the run from the government, but they've never talked about why. So maybe she does get it, and that's a relief, just as much as the fact that she isn't angry at him. ]

The other day... I freaked out. You were so upset- disgusted with what you saw and I thought... I thought you'd fucking hate me if you knew. You were so against it and it means so much to me, I just thought I'd end up fucking it up in the end either way.

I didn't know you'd be at that club last night.

[ But he would have had to go anyway, and this all would have been unavoidable. He was stupid to start anything up with Roxy in the first place- to get so close to someone that they'd find him out- but he doesn't regret it. He cares about her so fucking much. ]

I'm sorry, Roxy.

[gravity_grrl]

Oh Jason, darlin...

[He sounds so dejected and upset that it hurts her heart, but it's good that he's talking about it. That he can finally explain his side of things fully without having to lie or act like everything is fine when they aren't.]

I'm sorry too, and I don't hate you for what you did Jason I just....

[She sighs, still rubbing his back.]

The reasons why I acted like that are...complicated. I can explain them to you if you want but for right now please know that it wasn't because I was disgusted with you. I was upset and confused with myself. Not you.

[theotherobin]

[ He knows he absolutely shouldn't feel this way just yet, but it feels like a weight has lifted off his shoulders, with being able to talk about it, to explain it to her. He hated having to lie to her.

He knows this is still really fucked up, and if Bruce finds out that she knows, it'll be the end of Robin, but right now, in this moment, arms curled around Roxy, he can find some relief. ]

You were upset and confused because you said you hated that you felt good that they got hurt.

[ He remembers that part, and wondering why that wasn't okay. Why should they feel bad for the scum of the earth getting the living shit kicked out of them. ]

But that's how I feel too. And every night when I go out and kick more of their asses as Robin, I feel better and better about everything. I just didn't want you to hate me for it.

[ he lifts his head, wiping at his eyes. ]

You're okay with me being Robin?

[gravity_grrl]

[When he lifts his head, wiping at his eyes, she can see the young boy that he used to be. A young boy who was lost for so long and hurt in so many ways.]

I don't hate you.

[She looks up at him, putting a hand on the side of his face where she sees a fresh bruise on his cheekbone.]

I'm fine with you being Robin because it's just another part of you that I get to know.

[theotherobin]

[ He doesn't mean to be this raw and vulnerable, but it is what it is, and... it's Roxy. It just flows out of him now without hesitation. It's even harder for him to hold it all back now than before, and he knows it's because she knows more of him now. Maybe not his deepest, darkest secrets, but pretty damn close.

He looks down, nodding into her hand.]

You were right. I've missed you. A whole fucking lot.

[ He finally looks at her, moving a hand to her neck, sliding a thumb across her skin. ]

Are you really alright?

[gravity_grrl]

[Her heart swells so much she could cry when he finally says that he's missed her, it feels like it's been months since they talked this openly even though it's only been about a week. And once again Roxy realizes the strength of the connection they've made, it's something that could either tear them both apart completely or help make them better.

When he touches her neck she smiles softly, knowing how angry the bruises look. She uses the hand on his cheek to direct his eyes to hers.]

Yes, thanks to you. My hero.

[theotherobin]

[ Is this the right thing to do? He's still not sure, but he knows that he doesn't really want to be without her. And now that she knows... maybe it'll be easier in some ways. Harder in others, but at least he won't have to lie to her anymore.

He gives her a small smile when she calls him her hero. He doesn't feel like a hero right now, but he knows he did some good. He saved her life and he made all the bastards pay who touched her and hurt her. Not all, he knows that too, but at least the ones he knows about. Maybe that's good enough for now. ]

I wanted to go back to make sure you were alright, but I couldn't. Roxy... Bruce can't find out about this. If he does, he'll... I know he won't let me be Robin anymore. He'll know I fucked up.

[gravity_grrl]

Shhh, it's okay. I know you couldn't stick around, you had work to do. I made sure the other girls got home safe and everything. I called all of them this morning and they're all doing okay, shook up, but okay.

[She says, rubbing her thumb across his cheekbone softly.]

As for Bruce...I'm not going to tell anyone about him. The only person who might suspect that I know about all of this is Alfred but maybe not. When I called him this morning to beg for his help I told him it was because you wouldn't return my texts, so he might just chalk this up to a lovers quarrel.

[theotherobin]

We've got eyes on them. Just to make sure they'll be alright.

[ There are eyes on Roxy too, but he's pretty sure she'll figure that out, if she knows there are eyes on the other girls too. Will she be upset about that? Maybe. Probably. Everything feels like push and pull right now.

He leans his face into her touch, moving his other hand back to her waist. He really just wants to be close to her right now. The past few days have been shit without her.]

He doesn't know. Not even Alfred would be okay with this.

[ Jason's pretty sure, anyway. Because in the grand scheme of things, Jason is new, and all the rest of this has been going on for ages. He's new enough that they'd toss him out before risking it all. He's pretty sure of that too.]

Can't believe the two of you went behind my back for this, though.

[ he gives her the smallest smile so she knows he isn't mad about it. he'd be more amused if so much wasn't hanging in the balance. ]

Hey, you wanna... wanna grab our breakfast and go to my room? We can talk more there.

[gravity_grrl]

[His remark about having eyes on them, she knows what it means and nods. You don't live with an ex-government agent for four years and not pick up on the lingo. She doesn't mind so long as it's his or Bruce's and not the cops or the government, she's had enough of that to last a lifetime.

When he mentions Alfred she smiles and shrugs.]

You told me that he liked me and I know he cares about you...so I figured he'd be open to helping us talk things out.

[She nods when he mentions moving their conversation to his room, out of all the rooms in Wayne Manor it's her favorite one. It feels the most comfortable and safest which is kind of ironic now that she knows who else lives here.]

I'd really like that.

[theotherobin]

[ Jason doesn't want to freak her out by having her think that someone is watching her, but they'd never use someone they didn't trust for something like that, and never the government. She doesn't seem upset about it though, so that's a relief.

He thought this would go so much shittier than it actually is. Then again... it's Roxy. Maybe he should have known better, but it's hard for him to trust that anything will actually go right. ]

Guess you were right. And he does. He likes you. And I think he figured something was up. I've kinda been a moody bitch the past few days.

[ Alfred will ask about it later. And now? Now he's gonna have to lie to Alfred too, but an omission of the truth is different, right? And anyway, he wouldn't be lying about them working things out with each other.

Before they part, Jason slides his fingers through her hair and leans in, but stops, because he's not really sure if has the right just yet. he pretty much broke things off with Roxy and he knows they're making up right now, but still.]

Can I kiss you?