RP with Number Five

[gravity_grrl]

[To say that things hadn't exactly been a holly jolly Christmas season so far would be a gross understatement and considering everything that had happened recently no one was going to blame Roxy for cancelling any and all of her holiday plans.
But Roxy was nothing if not tenacious.
So, in true Roxy fashion she bought herself a fake pink Christmas tree, decorated it in as many pink, purple and black decorations as she could find, bought a bunch of booze and treats and opened her doors up to all her family and friends as well as Five's.
Because you know what? No one was going to spoil her holiday.]

Comments

[gravity_grrl]

[Normally the second Five starts to remove his clothes she would be all over him, maybe giving him an extra hand with his trousers, but lately she's felt so hindered by what happened that she never knows if she should or not.
She craves intimacy with him but she's scared to trigger him if she acts forceful or dominant in any way that will remind him of what Lila tried.

She's also worried about triggering her own trauma as well, she knows that Five was completely unwilling but she doesn't want to start something and have it end with her in tears because she can't get the image of Lila straddling the man she loves out of her head.]

Hey.

[She says once he's pulled off his sweater and touches his bare shoulder gently.]

C'mere for a second.

[oldmanfive]

[ Instinctively he glances over his shoulder and looks at Roxy with a questioning gaze. He tosses his sweater aside and steps closer to her. It's not lost on him that they haven't been as passionate as they were before everything that happened.

He reaches out to lightly grasp her waist. It's not that he wants to be distant with her. He loves her dearly. He just doesn't know how to break out of the crippling funk he has been in.]

You okay?

[ He asks softly wondering if this will be the moment that she realizes that maybe he really isn't worth it.]

[gravity_grrl]

[She slides her hands up the bare skin of his torso and around to his back, hugging herself against him as she nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck. She can smell his aftershave and the clean scent of his skin and for a moment she just holds herself against him, breathing him in. Reminding her senses of how much she loves him and needs him.]

Yeah I'm okay, I just needed to feel you.

[oldmanfive]

[ Slowly he wraps his own arms around her and hugs her back. He breaths a silent breath of relief that she's not rejecting him. It just hurts that his past had to come and ruin the things they enjoyed about each other. ]

...I'm sorry that I haven't been very present.

[ And does mean in mind, he knows there are times that he's been vacant for lack of a better word. He's just not sure how to get himself back this time, there's a real fear building that he might be broken beyond repair. ]

[gravity_grrl]

[The hands on his back begin to move up and down slowly, stroking his soft skin as she sighs and kisses his jaw softly.]

You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault.

[She says and pulls back so she can see his face.]

Healing takes time and is frustrating but you are getting there.

[oldmanfive]

[ There's a bit of an internal struggle as he almost tenses as her hands rub over his back, but he forces himself to stay loose. Reminding himself that she's safe and that he can always trust her. Though he hates that he has to silently remind himself that his girlfriend is safe. ]

Logically I know that...but I still feel like I'm drowning.

[ He admits softly as she pulls back to look into his eyes. ]

I'm just tired of feeling like a part of me is missing.

[ He adds casting his eyes downward. ]

[gravity_grrl]

[She bites at her lower lip, trying hard not to let herself get pulled down into feeling upset or defeated at the expression on his face. One of them has to stay positive and by default that job has fallen to her, it always falls to her because she's just naturally stubbornly optimistic.]

Nothing is missing from you.

[She says firmly and kisses his cheek and then nudges the tip of his nose with hers.]

And as for feeling like you're drowning, well it's a good thing you've got your own personal life preserver then.

[She takes his hands in hers and places them firmly on her ass.]

See? No way you can drown with this to hang on to.

[oldmanfive]

Okay.

[ He does manage a smile at her gesture again feeling guilty that he's being a downer. Softly he presses a kiss to her jawline before pulling his arms away. ]

I should change before everyone else gets here.

[ He tells her as he goes to turn his attention to the suit he intends to change into for her holiday get together. While he appreciates the reassurances, he's just not in a place where he can fully believe them. However he doesn't want bring the mood down any more than he already has with his rising anxiety.]

[gravity_grrl]

[A part of her is sad that he doesn't respond to her in his usual way, no playful swats to her rear or a gentle rub, it hurts her a little because it feels like he doesn't want her anymore and when he turns his attention back to getting dressed she can feel her own insecurities trying to pop up. The nasty insecure part of her that wants to whisper that of course he doesn't want her anymore, not when he had a taste of something better.]

Okay.

[She says and turns away, not wanting him to see the troubled look in her eyes.]

I'll go make sure we've got enough ice for cocktails.

[oldmanfive]

[ He does note the wilt in her demeanor and promises himself that he'll do his best to make it up to her when he can focus on that. In the meantime, he changes his clothes and puts on the suit that Roxy picked out. He goes to check himself in the mirror but he just sees his dead eyes looking back at him.

However he goes to smooth out his jacket, before heading over to the closet to pull out his bag, because he wants to wear the cuff links she bought him for his birthday. This is the first opportunity that he's gotten to wear them and he hopes the gesture will put a smile on Roxy's face.

Once he's combed his hair back into place, he walks out the room to show Roxy the finish product.]

I look alright?

[ He asks, hoping that he looks more put together than he feels. ]

[gravity_grrl]

[As Five gets changed Roxy needlessly checks the ice for the cocktails, which is fine of course, and for a moment she just stands in the kitchen feeling awful and sick to her stomach. There seems to be so much sadness around them and yet she can't do anything to fix it, the whole situation makes her want to scream and cry.
But what would that solve?
Nothing.]

Fuck I want a cigarette.

[She mutters and instead chews at her thumbnail which compared to all her others is becoming raw and ragged. Ever since Five's panic attack she hasn't smoked a thing but with all this stress the urge is definitely there and getting worse.

When she hears Five exit the bedroom she immediately stops and turns to him, smiling.]

You look amazing.

[oldmanfive]

[ He smiles as the compliment even if he doesn't feel anywhere close to amazing. However instead of focusing on himself he looks her over again as he closes the gap between them. He holds out a hand to her, because they still have a little time before everyone gets here. ]

Well I just want to look worthy of my gorgeous lady. We got a little bit before anyone else gets here. So come and open your gifts.

[ He tells her as he grasps her hand and leads her over to the tree and four gifts under it. He has one other present that will be coming with Allison, who is also bringing Carter's gift with her. But for now, these small ones he feels may go with her current outfit and he'd love to see if she likes them enough to wear any of them.]

[gravity_grrl]

[She takes his hand and her smile becomes a bit more natural and genuine when he calls her gorgeous and his lady.]

Oooh I get to open my gifts? You sure? If they're really good I might want to drag you back into that bedroom.

[She teases and then stops when they reach the tree, noticing that he is wearing the cufflinks she bought him for his birthday.]

Oh Five, you're wearing.....they look nice.

[She leans in and gives him a quick kiss.]

Is there an order that I should open my gifts in?

[oldmanfive]

I'll take the risk.

[ He smiles back, feeling a bit more like himself for the moment. ]

It's first occasion it makes sense to wear them.

[ He tells her as he kisses her back and lightly rubs a hand over the small of her back. ]

Open the smaller ones first.

[gravity_grrl]

[She smiles and uses their joined hands to gently tug at him to join her sitting on the floor under the tree. As she opens her gifts one by one her eyes get larger and larger until she's looking at Five in awe.]

Five.....honey.... These are so... beautiful I....

[She looks at him with tears in her eyes.]

No one has ever....gotten me anything so nice or so special.

[She leans forward and kisses him firmly on the lips, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck and pulling him close.]

[oldmanfive]

[ The awe in her eyes is a beautiful sight, he's happy that she likes the jewelry. He wasn't sure if it would be a strike out or not given he doesn't see her wear jewelry often. Though the tears catch him off guard. He immediately pulls a handkerchief out of pants pocket and dabs at the tears in her eyes.]

I love you, baby.

[ He doesn't get to say anymore once she pulls him into a kiss. Despite himself his back slightly stiffens but he manages to break the kiss momentarily. So that he can shift his body a bit and place his own hands on her neck. He doesn't want a beautiful moment to be ruined by his body's paranoid reactions. Lightly he rest his forehead against her and gently brushes his thumb over her cheek.]

You're everything to me, Roxy. As special as you feel these pieces are, you're far more special.

[ He tells her, before kissing her a bit more softly but no less passionately. ]

[gravity_grrl]

[She doesn't mean to cry so easily all the time but she can't help it, especially when Five keeps doing such wonderful and touching things for her.
The jewelry is beautiful but what makes her even happier is when he tells her that she's everything to him and kisses her.

It feels like it's been forever since she's felt any kind of passion from him and she sighs, opening her mouth tentatively as her hands move from around his neck to rest on on his chest. Wanting to feel his heart beat.]

[oldmanfive]

[ Instinctively he obliges her, taking the invitation to deepen the kiss between them. But he has enough self awareness to finally break the kiss between them because they do have company in route. Though he kisses another soft kiss to her lips, before dabbing at her eyes with his handkerchief again. ]

We should clean up before everyone starts getting here.

[ He whispers as he takes the necklace out of the box and puts it around her neck. Just as he suspected, it goes perfectly with her dress. Gently he smooth his fingers over the jewels as he presses the necklace down against her skin.]

Your neck was looking a little bare. It's looks perfect on you. Just like I thought it would.

[gravity_grrl]

[When Five finally breaks the kiss her eyes are no longer damp but are instead starry and she smiles at him, moving so he can slip the necklace around her neck. A small pleasant shiver goes through her body when he smoothes it down, his fingers grazing over the skin on her neck and collarbone.]

You know me so well, I love it so much.
And I love you so much!

[She says and kisses him again briefly.]

Do you think we have time for you to open yours or would you rather wait till later?

[oldmanfive]

I love you so much too. [ He whispers against her lips. He considers her question a moment and then goes to pull out his pocket watch and check the time.]

Maybe we should wait. Unless you want me to open it right now?

[ If means a lot to her for him to open it now, he'll do it, but definitely wants to give her a chance to refresh her make up after the crying and then the kissing. They both could use a chance to refresh for that matter. But he also doesn't want to disappoint her either. He feels like he's been doing that enough since Lila's assault on them. ]

[gravity_grrl]

[Another shiver goes through her when he whispers against her lips and she quietly rejoices at the familiar feeling of desire that seems to be resurfacing between them. It's small but she'll take it.]

It can wait, you can open it later after everyone has left and we're in bed.

[She looks into his eyes, holding his gaze.]

When we go to bed tonight I want to wear this.

[She says and touches the necklace.]

And only this.

[oldmanfive]

[ He smiles as he leans his forehead against hers. He knows he hasn't been as attentive as normally would be and hates that his depression has been coming between them. But hopefully he can make up for a bit of it tonight? ]

Mmm, I'm sure Rose from Titanic will have nothing on you.

[ He quips as he's sure she'll look gorgeous in nothing but that necklace. ]

I do have another gift for you sweetheart, but Allison has it. She'll be bringing it over tonight.

[gravity_grrl]

[She grins and touches the tip of her nose to his.]

Fiiiiiiiive, another gift?! You're spoiling me!

[oldmanfive]

You're my lady. It's my right to spoil you.

[ He smiles as he wraps his arms around her waist. ]

[gravity_grrl]

Can you say that again? That I'm yours? Then I promise to release you so we can get presentable for company. I just....I need to hear it.